Trials and Tribulations

I have a special needs child. There's so much yet so little in that one little sentence. Does this make him different? Yes, does it make him better or worse than other kids? NO. He's just different. And with being different he brings his own difficulties to the table. It makes takes doing normal parenting things to a whole new level. Tonight were playing the "Go to bed game". His Ocupational Therpaist thought it was a good idea to put him in a toddler bed. He was grabbing the sides of his crib and pulling so hard he was putting holes in the wall. The amount of upper body strength in this two year old is just amazing. But with putting him in a toddler bed he can now get out anytime he wants to. Everynight and afternoon is a fight. He use to be SO scheduled. Down for a nap at 11, bedtime was 8 and he'd get up at 7. Now it takes two hours just to get him to stay put so it's 10 pm by the time he gets to bed and then he gets up at 5:30 am. Sleep has been something elusive to me since he was born. Right now we're doing the bed time fight. I know that being in a toddler bed is good for him. I know that treating him just like every other child is the right thing to do. I just wish it wasn't so exausting. I would like to be able to put my energies into other things. My husband, my other kids, and sometimes even myself. I know I sound selfish but he's been my constant companion since I brought him home from the NICU. Twent-four/seven of Ryan. I love him, but I need a break. The words Burn out constantly come to mind and then I feel guilty for even wanting some me time.